Beautiful things to bargain

Why do I choose this?

I am so confused of who I am that I am willing to take this risk so I could find myself in the end.
So I could fix every broken filament in my entire being.
So I could mend my soul.
Sometimes I wonder if this world really belongs to me, or if I do really belong to this world because I just can't find my place. I look everywhere and all I could see is a blur reality. I have met different people from different walks of life and some brought out the best in me, in every aspect of my being. And there are also some who just passed by to show me the reflection of who I am because I could not even see it myself..
But meeting people do not solve everything.
It does not give me answers to my questions.
It just serves as a bridge so I could finally reach my goal.
I want to serve. I want to touch the lives of many people, strangers or not.
I want to become God's healing instrument and not just heal their bodies but also their tattered hearts.
I want to give hope to those that have lost their dreams and tell them there's more to life if we just live it.
That giving up is not an option and that we need to fight for what we love because this is what makes us, and this is who we are.
And this is what I love.
This is who I want to be.
This is what I want to live for the rest of my life.
And I didn't know love has its mysterious ways of telling you that it belongs to you no matter what or where you are in life. I never wished for this thing, I never desired for this kind of wanting.
It just came to me like a dream I could not control in my sleep, and slowly, without even knowing, I was drowning into it so badly that I do not want to wake up.
But this dream is real.
And every real thing has its own endless possibilities.
And I believe in that.
I believe one day this two letters, M.D, will be engraved next to my name.
And I will live life to how he wants me to live it, for his greater glory.
I believe God has a bigger purpose and I am willing to bargain long years of sleepless nights and heavy mornings just to become the best version of myself.
And I believe one day, everything will pay off in his perfect time.