Most of the time, you are your own flame of fire.
To pretend to be invasive or strong--both won't make you immune to pain. My brother once told me that everyone goes through some kind of pain, and sometimes you won't see it in their eyes, because they have swallowed every bit of it just to go through life's cruel reality and pretend everything is normal. I think of hunger, and I feel pain. I think of a failing grade, and I feel pain. I think of someone sick and dying and I feel pain. Truth is, pain is everywhere. It is a force of nature. But this thing, this thing that ruthlessly brings us down to our knees, is what makes us strong and burning. So have some fire. Be your own kind of flame. Swallow it until no amount of teardrops could ever break you again. After all, a fire that doesn't burn, never goes out.
Saturday, April 25, 2015
Wednesday, April 15, 2015
How little life is
How little life is to feel sad?
To feel so horrified of the future? of what comes next?
To feel so desperate of the things we cannot have? things that are not meant for us?
To feel so scared? and terrified of one's greatness?
When I was riding the jeepney today, I could not resist the thoughts that suddenly came inside my mind. Everyday, we are striving so hard to be better. We are wishing that someday, we will become the best version of ourselves. And we have to remind ourselves that we have TO REACH that goal. To be greater than our former selves. I chose this path. I WILL FIGHT FOR THIS. I will finish the race no matter what. This is what I love. This is who I chose to be. The years are just numbers. They should not matter, because honestly, the truth is they do not matter at all. Time is just an illusion, a fantasy. Just do what you love. And love what you do. Do what satisfies your soul, do it, do it, DO IT. It is who you become in the process that matters. Not the result. Not the number of people who felt proud of you. Not the grades you get. It's who you are in the end that will MATTER. And you have to fight for it. Fight for WHO YOU ARE.
To feel so horrified of the future? of what comes next?
To feel so desperate of the things we cannot have? things that are not meant for us?
To feel so scared? and terrified of one's greatness?
When I was riding the jeepney today, I could not resist the thoughts that suddenly came inside my mind. Everyday, we are striving so hard to be better. We are wishing that someday, we will become the best version of ourselves. And we have to remind ourselves that we have TO REACH that goal. To be greater than our former selves. I chose this path. I WILL FIGHT FOR THIS. I will finish the race no matter what. This is what I love. This is who I chose to be. The years are just numbers. They should not matter, because honestly, the truth is they do not matter at all. Time is just an illusion, a fantasy. Just do what you love. And love what you do. Do what satisfies your soul, do it, do it, DO IT. It is who you become in the process that matters. Not the result. Not the number of people who felt proud of you. Not the grades you get. It's who you are in the end that will MATTER. And you have to fight for it. Fight for WHO YOU ARE.
Sunday, April 12, 2015
Beautiful things to bargain
Why do I choose this?
I am so confused of who I am that I am willing to take this risk so I could find myself in the end.
So I could fix every broken filament in my entire being.
So I could mend my soul.
Sometimes I wonder if this world really belongs to me, or if I do really belong to this world because I just can't find my place. I look everywhere and all I could see is a blur reality. I have met different people from different walks of life and some brought out the best in me, in every aspect of my being. And there are also some who just passed by to show me the reflection of who I am because I could not even see it myself..
But meeting people do not solve everything.
It does not give me answers to my questions.
It just serves as a bridge so I could finally reach my goal.
I want to serve. I want to touch the lives of many people, strangers or not.
I want to become God's healing instrument and not just heal their bodies but also their tattered hearts.
I want to give hope to those that have lost their dreams and tell them there's more to life if we just live it.
That giving up is not an option and that we need to fight for what we love because this is what makes us, and this is who we are.
And this is what I love.
This is who I want to be.
This is what I want to live for the rest of my life.
And I didn't know love has its mysterious ways of telling you that it belongs to you no matter what or where you are in life. I never wished for this thing, I never desired for this kind of wanting.
It just came to me like a dream I could not control in my sleep, and slowly, without even knowing, I was drowning into it so badly that I do not want to wake up.
But this dream is real.
And every real thing has its own endless possibilities.
And I believe in that.
I believe one day this two letters, M.D, will be engraved next to my name.
And I will live life to how he wants me to live it, for his greater glory.
I believe God has a bigger purpose and I am willing to bargain long years of sleepless nights and heavy mornings just to become the best version of myself.
And I believe one day, everything will pay off in his perfect time.
So I could fix every broken filament in my entire being.
So I could mend my soul.
Sometimes I wonder if this world really belongs to me, or if I do really belong to this world because I just can't find my place. I look everywhere and all I could see is a blur reality. I have met different people from different walks of life and some brought out the best in me, in every aspect of my being. And there are also some who just passed by to show me the reflection of who I am because I could not even see it myself..
But meeting people do not solve everything.
It does not give me answers to my questions.
It just serves as a bridge so I could finally reach my goal.
I want to serve. I want to touch the lives of many people, strangers or not.
I want to become God's healing instrument and not just heal their bodies but also their tattered hearts.
I want to give hope to those that have lost their dreams and tell them there's more to life if we just live it.
That giving up is not an option and that we need to fight for what we love because this is what makes us, and this is who we are.
And this is what I love.
This is who I want to be.
This is what I want to live for the rest of my life.
And I didn't know love has its mysterious ways of telling you that it belongs to you no matter what or where you are in life. I never wished for this thing, I never desired for this kind of wanting.
It just came to me like a dream I could not control in my sleep, and slowly, without even knowing, I was drowning into it so badly that I do not want to wake up.
But this dream is real.
And every real thing has its own endless possibilities.
And I believe in that.
I believe one day this two letters, M.D, will be engraved next to my name.
And I will live life to how he wants me to live it, for his greater glory.
I believe God has a bigger purpose and I am willing to bargain long years of sleepless nights and heavy mornings just to become the best version of myself.
And I believe one day, everything will pay off in his perfect time.
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